Michelle Anson considers a nostalgic solution to the ‘crunch’.

In a culture where we work to live, and not live to work, it’s no wonder that even the most financially secure are feeling the effects of possibly the worst economic downturn in 60 years. According to a recent report by The Guardian, household savings are at their lowest since the 1950s, people are resorting to buying own brand food in supermarkets resulting in the ‘Aldi-effect’, and according to another survey from BBC’s Panorama, for over 50% of us, our household outgoings have risen substantially in the past year.
It’s unsurprising then, that there are a string of women resorting to days gone by, to escape the stresses and economical strains of the 21st century. Channel 4 recently documented ‘Time Warp Wives’, which delved into the lives of women who replicate life in the 1930s, 40s and 50s.  For these women, work entails remaining at home, surrounding themselves with music and film from decades ago, doing an absurd amount of housework and generally looking pretty as a picture. Joanne Massey embraces 1950s decor, fashion, and most importantly values; “When I look at the reality of the world today with all the violence, greed and materialism, I shudder…neither of us drinks and our social life revolves around visiting like-minded friends for tea and cakes”. And her choice of lifestyle seems to do the trick – “…living like this really does make me happier – as though I’m existing in one of those old-fashioned TV shows where everything is always wonderful”.
It all sounds a bit Stepford Wives, but were we any better off in those days? In a time of austerity between world wars, a rationed diet was necessary.

An adults weekly rations consisted of the following:
•    2 rasher of bacon
•    50g butter
•    50g cheese – the equivalent of two Babybels
•    A jar and a half of jam every month
•    Three and a half pints of milk
•    225g sugar
•    14 tea bags
•    1 egg a week, a pack of dried eggs per month
•    350g sweets a month – about seven packets of fruit pastels

It’s hardly Gillian McKeith, nor is it gourmet dining, but it’s one of the healthiest diets in our country’s history. When considering the amount of chemicals, salt and preservatives that are pumped into most of our food, it’s no surprise that we’re a nation of lethargic and often obese couch potatoes. An alternative option would be to grow our own vegetables, but would we know our runner beans from our baked? The 1940s certainly saw a lot of people owning allotments and even keeping poultry. This would definitely solve a problem or two in relation to the credit crunch, but whether or not we can be bothered with such labour, time will tell…
Another alternative to processed meats is to buy from your local butchers. Not only will you be supporting local farmers and businesses, you can be sure that you’re buying chicken, as opposed to a suspicious looking joint of stray dog. My grandparents have been using their local butcher for a good thirty years, building up the kind of rapport you’ll only find on Coronation Street. It’s both warming and alien to watch, to walk past a stranger nowadays and announce ‘good morning’ will only get you a funny look and at worst, a restraining order.
Also, getting married young and remaining monogamous was the norm back then. Marriage will halve your bills and food costs, so if you’re really stumped for ideas, tying the knot just might be the answer. Pretty drastic. With more and more singletons inhabiting Manchester however, living with friends is another bill reducing, but less committing idea.
While there are aspects of the 1940s that are exceptionally desirable – delightful vintage dresses, domestic bliss, Cary Grant and Lauren Bacall – it’d be hard to replicate in the 21st century. Here are a few helpful, but borderline ridiculous tips on being a money conscious housewife:
•    Save the dregs of old bars of soap in a heatproof jar. When the jar is about half full pour boiling water in to make a gel.
•    Cut a loaf of bread in half and use it to erase stains on soiled sofas and chairs.
•    No need for Vanish, if you need to remove wine stains from a garment simply immerse the item in boiling milk. Not only will it be clean, you’ll also smell faintly of cow.
•    Placing batteries on a sunny windowsill for a day or so will lengthen their life. Apparently.
•    To clean pewter, simply source a handful of wood ashes dampened with cool water and rub accordingly.
•    Need a mop? Not a problem, simply cut one leg from a ruined panty hose, attach to the mop head then dispose of when finished.
Ok, so all of this seems highly unlikely, but a good dose of nostalgia will surely bring a smile to your face. Perhaps a return to days gone by is just what is needed; a return to cheaper housing, lower crime rates, simpler living and 1940s charm. A life without Sky Plus, central heating and the X factor doesn’t bare thinking about. But a compromise between the two lifestyles can surely teach us a thing or two on saving those ever decreasing pennies…

Will Oasis’ new album make it to the number one slot? Mark Lindores makes his prediction.

After the furore surrounding his comments about Jay-Z headlining Glastonbury, it is little wonder that Noel Gallagher has resorted to slating Amy Winehouse, Mark Ronson and Kaiser Chiefs in the press in a desperate attempt to drum up some publicity for Oasis’ new album Dig Out Your Soul.  And while Noel versus Scouting For Girls is unlikely to make the 9 o’clock news in the way Blur versus Oasis did back in the heady days of Britpop, it is understandable that the elder Gallagher is nervous, given that the new Oasis album is due amid the busiest time for “event releases” in recent years.

Following a quiet summer, during which record labels have resisted the urge to cash in on the potentially lucrative festival season, the final quarter of 2008 looks set for a barrage of new albums from the biggest names in music today.  U2, Take That, The Killers, Razorlight, Kings Of Leon, Keane, The Verve, The Cure, Girls Aloud, Sugababes and Dido are all readying their new albums, while the usual spate of Greatest Hits compilations comes courtesy of The Smiths, Foo Fighters and Chemical Brothers among others.

Such is the competition, many acts have decided to avoid the inevitable chart battle and move their albums to a time when they can garner maximum attention.  Coldplay got off to a head start by releasing Viva La Vida earlier in the summer, while planned releases by Kasabian, Franz Ferdinand and Lily Allen have all been put back to next year.

While Oasis and U2’s albums are arguably the most eagerly anticipated, it will be interesting to see how the elder statesmen of rock hold up next to their younger counterparts.  The music business has changed beyond recognition in the years since Oasis set the record for the fastest-selling album of all time with Be Here Now in 1997 (only Coldplay and Leona Lewis have come close to reaching its first week sales of 700,000 copies).  With artists generating the majority of their revenue from touring, albums are given away for free with newspapers or on the internet, the intention being that people like the music and buy tickets to see the artist live.

In a bid to halt the downturn in CD sales, the music industry is fighting back and is also using the pre-Christmas sales rush to try out it’s new marketing strategy of releasing “Deluxe Editions” of albums simultaneously with the regular release rather than a year down the line.  After the deluxe edition of Amy Winehouse’s Back To Black album outsold the regular edition last year, the decision was made to launch the new format on a grander scale.  As opposed to a couple of bonus tracks or remixes, the lavish new sets come in special packaging with bonus CDs, DVDs, books and artwork.  Let the battle commence!

Matthew Moxham tells us how to be hip whilst wearing squares.

British inspired eccentricity is a key look for this Autumn/Winter. An obvious trend that has been bubbling for more than a year emerges from this summer’s check overload – it’s all about plaid (or tartan to you and I).

This look, worthy of even royal approval and a favourite of HRH herself, is part aristocracy, part punk, part country house – a trend that requires careful calculation, but when done right can have brilliant effects. Aggy and Gwen Stefani are ahead of the trend having recently been snapped wearing tartan shirts and coats. Make sure you stay ahead of the fashion pack and snap up some plaid ASAP.

This most traditional of checks has had a face lift for Autumn/Winter and tartan has been all over the runway, with the girls wearing oversized coats, shift dresses and even high-waisted trousers.  There have been some show-stopping plaid prints in pussy-bow blouses, long jackets and matching skirts, plus patterned skirts in mismatched tartans, along with twinsets, jackets and silk scarves in reds, greens and blacks.

However, on the catwalk is one thing, just how does this look translate into real life? Will you be clashing your tartan prints this season?

This autumn, you need to update your wardrobe with a piece of plaid and our favourite stores have caught on to the trend too.  Peacocks have a selection of tartan accessories and Topshop have a selection of coats, shirts and dresses. Both will be hitting stores in the coming months.

The plaid mini dress is the perfect item to take you from summer to autumn. Pair a cute breezy dress with light heels, sandals and bright accessories for that end of summer look, or match with darker colours and heavier fabrics for Autumn to create a completely different style. If you’re just dipping your toe into the tartan army then stick to a bold patterned shirt teamed with a good fitting pair of blue jeans.  For the bold, try mixing up different tartans for a look that would make Vivienne Westwood proud.

Not to be left in the fitting room, guys will also find plenty of plaid this season.  Focus on a garment that can take the power pattern and if in doubt, stick to the plaid shirt, one bold piece against a backdrop of neutrals that really make the tartan inspired pattern pop.

Plaid is all over the High Street from Top Man to H&M, D&G to Paul Smith.  Choose from fine cottons, which can be either dressed up or down to heavier quilted over-shirts and cropped jackets.

But a note of caution guys and girls, plaid can easily go awry. While tartan should be tailored, it should never be skintight. The lines in the print should always be straight, too tight and they follow and magnify your every curve – not a great look!

Vikki Harris goes back to her roots in Harrogate.

I grew up in Harrogate, and when I left school, I had outgrown the sleepy little town so headed for the bright lights of Manchester.  To me, back then Harrogate was too sleepy and quiet for a teenager and I chose the polar opposite and was firmly sucked into big city life.

Visits back to Harrogate in my early twenties re-affirmed that I had made a good choice in Manchester, but a recent trip made me realize I had roots to be proud of.

In 1571, William Slingsby discovered that water from Harrogate’s Tewitt Well contained high levels of iron and sulphur – it was to become the town’s first mineral spring. Following the publication of Edmund Deane’s Spadacrene Anglica (The English Spa) in 1626, Harrogate’s fame as a spa town grew.
During the late 19th and early 20th centuries, Harrogate was extremely popular among the English elite and was frequented by nobility from around Europe who went to drink or bathe in the medicinal waters. Today you can visit The Royal Pump Room in Crown Place and taste the water from the sulphur springs – it tastes absolutely repulsive but if it was good enough for Queen Vicoria . . .

Betty’s in Parliament Street is a famous classic tearoom, founded by a Swiss immigrant confectioner who got on a wrong train, ended up in Yorkshire and decided to stay. Today it is owned by Bettys and Taylors of Harrogate – the same company that makes the more nationally well-known Yorkshire Tea. The area around Betty’s is home to some fab boutiques and art galleries that you’ll probably find hard not to part with money in.

Harrogate is also famous for its’ abundance of parks. Harrogate Stray is an area of open parkland running through the centre of the town. Built around Tewitt Well in 1778, its’ construction was an act of parliament. The act states that The Stray must stay fixed at 200 acres – so when a section needs to be removed, perhaps due to surrounding development, it must be replaced somewhere else.

During the week, Harrogate is a centre for conferences and exhibitions. In 1982, Harrogate hosted the Eurovision Song Contest – I was only five, so am a little disappointed that I was too young to go. With the booming conference trade there is a huge selection of hotels to rest your weary head.  I stayed at the Balmoral Hotel on Franklin Mount, which is about a five-minute walk from the town centre. The Balmoral re-opened last year having undergone a facelift, making it one of the nicest Boutique Hotels I have stayed in. The Balmoral is also home to a Grille restaurant, which is operated by the same people who have Room in Manchester. Although we arrived too late for dinner, we did enjoy a fab breakfast the next morning.

In 2005, a Channel 4 show listed Harrogate as the UK’s 3rd best place to live. In 2006 it came 4th in the same league; the programme claimed that it placed lower due to “a slight dip in exam results”, though presenter Phil Spencer noted that it was his personal favourite. Harrogate is perfect for a weekend away, either a romantic break or a shopping and pampering trip with friends. I left this time thinking that I could retire there one day, and spend my days pottering around parks and galleries, drinking copious amounts of the finest Yorkshire tea.

www.balmoralhotelharrogate.co.uk

Louise Turner gets messy in Wagamama.

The first time you step foot into Wagamama it’s a bit like entering a secret society. The waiter will always ask ‘Have you been here before’ as he seats you, and you either give a knowing smile and carry on as he scurries away, or you stare at him wide eyed as he gives you the lowdown on what your expectations should be.

You can always spot the first timers, eating edame bean pods as well as the beans, bemused when the waiter points out that your food doesn’t necessarily come in the order you order it in and your dishes wont arrive together, and the novice noodle eaters who don’t know that its perfectly acceptable to schlurp your way through the Ramen.

For the uninitiated, Wagamama is a quick and tasty treat. Diners sit at communal tables in rows, which is good fun for a casual meal and can be quite entertaining, especially when fellow diners drop their noodles in unmentionable places. It pays to keep a firm grip on your chopsticks. Main courses start at around £7, rising up to about £10 and they are all really substantial, so on a budget it would just be possible to get a meal and drink for under a tenner. They don’t do starters as such, but have a range of small side dishes, which make great accompaniments to main courses if you are famished, or would be suitable to eat tapas style for anyone preferring a light bite. We opted for a couple of main course noodle dishes, one with teriyaki salmon and the other with chicken. On the side, we had two dishes to share, vegetable dumplings and crispy grilled tiger prawns.
All the food is cooked to order and diners get a peep into the open plan kitchen area where flames are flashing and pans are jostling. Everything is served as soon as it is ready, so for us there was a slight staggering in the service of our main meals, but it wasn’t a problem, as the side dishes came before the second main course, so there was something for both of us to eat at the same time. The second main course followed very swiftly in any case.
We both really enjoyed our main courses, they were big portions of fresh,  tasty food, well cooked and finished with fresh herbs and spices, which added a lovely burst of flavor to the food. We were unanimously in agreement about the yumminess of the vegetable dumplings (gyoza) too.
For fast food with attitude, we’d rate Wagamama highly. It’s unpretentious, with efficient and speedy service making it an ideal venue for a quick pre theatre meal or for something to end a good night out.

Wagamama Printworks 0161 839 5916
Wagamama Spinningfields 0161 833 9883
www.wagamama.com

1.Visit Urbis
There’s still a chance to catch the Manga exhibition, which runs until the 21st of this month. It’s not all mildy annoying Pokemon types, How Manga Took Over the World explores everything from the infiltration of Manga into the fashion and beauty world, to the saucy side of Manga in the erotic section, through to action Manga, a guaranteed thumbs up from disgruntled teenagers.  Whichever aspect you explore, it’s a guaranteed slice of escapism from a rainy September.

www.urbis.org.uk

2.Curl up With a Good Book
It may sound obvious, but more often than not being whisked away by a hopelessly romantic Mr Darcey character can be just what the doctor ordered. Plus, if you can brave the oddballs that seem to inhabit the Central Library, it’ll be completely free. Go on, I dare you.

3. Hop on the Free Bus
Despite being around for a good six years now, the free bus that darts around various locations in the city centre is a well-kept secret amongst in-the-know thirftians. But do not fret, it’s not some Harry Potter nine and three quarters enigma, services run from both Piccadilly and Victoria train station to useful locations all over town. Save your pennies, your feet, and your favourite shoes from any bother.

4. Imperial War Museum North
Proving to be a great deal more sense friendly than it’s London and Belfast counterparts, the sheer architecture of the Imperial War Museum North will wow even the most stubborn of critics. The Horrible Histories series have made their way to Salford with an exhibition on the First World War, remaining as residents until the 4th January 2009. Plenty of time to remind yourself of those gruesome and stomach-curdling stories from the trenches.

www.north.iwm.org.uk

5. Museum of Science and Industry
Situated just on the outskirts of Castlefield, you can probably reach the MoSI via the free bus for starters. Plus once the never-ending school holidays do finally cease, it’ll be less roaming with unnerving screaming children, enabling the bigger kids to have a day of fun. Take a stroll through a Victorian sewer, shudder, return to living rooms from days gone by for pure nostalgia, and lift a Mini with just one finger. No, really. Time will literally fly and with so much to do, you’ll forget for at least a day that the damned credit crunch was ever invented.

www.msim.co.uk

6. RockCorps
For just four hours of your time and a bit of good old hard-graft, the lovely people at Orange will in return provide you with tickets to an amazing free concert at the Royal Albert Hall on the 26th September. Included in the line-up are the lovely Guillemots, who have reportedly been chipping in with the charity work and simultaneously pleasing fans. Indulging in music never felt so worthwhile, all you have to do is sort out those train tickets to the capital. Keep your eyes closely glued to the website for details on other DJs and artists soon to be announced.

www.orangerockcorps.co.uk

7. The Cornerhouse
If those pennies refuse to stretch to a ticket to see follow up to This Is England, Somers Town, a wander around the art gallery is well worth a look. Currently being displayed is the work of Japanese artist Masaki Fujihata, whose exhibition entitled The Conquest of Imperfection, will keep you entertained for a good ten minutes while you wait for the rain to pass.

www.cornerhouse.org

8. Watch Planes Land at Manchester Airport
For when times get really tough. Don a mac, evade washing for a week, nicely developing an eau-du-hobo, grab a note pad and pen and join the wondrous aeroplane equivalents to train spotters. This will give you the chance to let your mind drift to a far away paradise, as let’s face it, that trip to Dubai isn’t going to happen this side of Christmas…

9. The Manchester Museum

Not exclusive to putting dead or at least very old artefacts in dusty glass cabinets, the Manchester Museum also offers a vivarium – the posh term for an empty fish tank – featuring such stars as the Fijian Banded Iguanas and the endangered Tomato Frog. The botany section also offers a worthy substitute for the Eden Project with over a million specimens to be seen. The Manchester Museum is a sure way to brighten those Autumn months.

www.museum.manchester.ac.uk

10. Have a browse on moneysavingexpert.com

Rocketed to fame on Lorraine Kelly’s daytime slot, Martin Lewis’ website offers handy hints on how to reduce your outcome, leaving you enough to splash out the finer things in life. Discover how to save money on travel, accommodation, shopping bills, and other such joys. All this meaning that that Channel handbag isn’t quite so out of reach. All hail Martin.

www.moneysavingexpert.com

Sharleen Spiteri, best known as the feisty Texas frontwoman, has gone solo, to make an album of instant classics. And it’s all about her relationship break-up, she tells Flic Everett…
Sticking around in the music business is hard work. Sticking around for over twenty years when you’re subtle, intelligent, female and unwilling to compromise, is almost impossible- but Sharleen Spiteri has managed it.
Texas began casually scoring top ten hits in 1989, with I Don’t Want A Lover- then, as they used to say on Radio One, the hits just kept coming- Black Eyed Boy, Halo, Inner Smile, Sharleen’s foray in Elvis cross-dressing chic; they were a solid, Scottish outfit, with talent to spare. But after the last album, she explains, they all felt a need to try new things- perhaps, in Sharleen’s case, because she’d just split with her partner of ten years, Ashley Heath, father to her 6 year old daughter, Misty Kyd. (Yes, she’s charmingly down to earth- but come on, she’s still a pop star.)
The resulting solo album, Melody, which she describes as the record she’s “always wanted to make”, is a heartfelt, 60’s- inspired collection of sweeping, epic hits. It’s a little bit Dusty, a little bit Phil Spector, and a whole lot of beautifully-packaged emotional pain.
“Every decision I made on the record all stemmed from the break-up,” Sharleen admits. “I found it really easy to write- but giving that personal part of me away was much more difficult than the actual making of the record. Afterwards, I thought, Jesus, what am I doing with this?”
But with every nuance of the split already reported, she adds,  “I thought, I could make the happiest record in the world here, and sit down with journalists, and they’re still going to ask me about the split-  so I should have the balls to just put it out there and make the record that I want to make- and the words just came pouring out.”
Even the song titles-  new single, All The Times I Cried, Stop, I Don’t Love You Anymore, You Let Me Down and the brilliant, Nancy-Sinatra channelling I’m Going to Haunt You, are testimony to Sharleen’s remarkable soul-baring.
“I thought, I’m just going to stand up and say yep, that’s how I felt, yes, it did hurt like hell and was painful,” she shrugs,  “but I’ve come out the other end and I feel more positive than I’ve ever felt in my whole life.” She refuses to play the victim. “It’s not tragic in any way, it’s just something that happened, and it’s happened to a million people,” she says, firmly.
Sharleen is now 40, and while her contemporaries may jackknife themselves into corsets, hit the Botox and release songs about sex and boys, her talent has, thankfully,  allowed her to age gracefully.
“As you get older, you’re braver,” she muses. “When you’re young, you think, “well, I don’t care about anybody,” and you’re ready to take on the world- but the truth is, at that age, you’ve very aware of what everybody else thinks.  It isn’t until you get older that you become a true punk- because by then, you really don’t give a shit.”
In her younger years, she was regularly typified as a tough-ass Glaswegian tomboy; all swearing, thrashing guitar and spiky hair. But, she promises, those days are gone. Mostly.
“Well, at 20, it was all, ‘me against the world!’ but now.. if the world wants me to take it on, then yeah- I’ll stand up and be counted. But I don’t have that rage.”
Given that she looks like Juliette Binoche’s more serene sister, it’s easy to believe that- right up until the music industry is mentioned.
“It’s not an easy business,” she observes, “and yeah, it is hard to be a woman in it. I’ve been compared with every single other female singer, like we’re all in competition with each other,” adds Sharleen, annoyance building, “you just don’t get that when it’s a guy. I think women write fucking great songs, we’re some of the best, and we do not get the plaudits for that, we really don’t.”
She’s not afraid to name names, either. “Amy Winehouse.. Duffy.. we’re all writing great, heartfelt songs,” she goes on, “and people always say ‘oh they’re trying to do that retro thing.’ We’re just writing in a classic style- emotional lyrics, verses, a chorus-  but  people always lump us all together and say “ooh, there’s a movement”- it’s not a movement! Ultimately, I don’t give a shit, because I’m very proud of what I do, and I’ll do it my way,” she finishes. It’s suddenly entirely clear how Sharleen has navigated a band of tough Scottish blokes through the treacherous waters of the music industry for twenty years.
“Well, there’s a million people who’ve been the next big thing, and I’m still here,” she agrees. “It’s quite nice when people recognise that.”
Generally, longevity comes with adaptability- and Sharleen’s no slouch when it comes to style.
“I’ve always been very conscious of the image that goes with a record,” she admits, “I wanted to look different for Melody- this is me having a bit of fun, doing Nancy Sinatra. It’s just elements of all the women I’ve loved over the years. We’ve gone for a sort of Belle De Jour, Catherine Deneuve look.”
She even dressed up to sing.
“When I was recording the album, I went into the studio every day in a dress and high heels – and you make a very different record. With Texas, I’d be in jeans, T shirt, and baseball boots. In a dress, you stand differently, you perform differently- even playing my guitar I’d have to sit a certain way.”
Her perfectionism extended to painting the garage interior, to create the right reverb sound on the album. Well, her Dad did.
“My Dad’s still stoned from the high gloss paint,” she laughs, “it really kills your brain cells- it’s really not good for the voice, so I said, ‘Dad, you really need to do it, cos you ain’t singing- so get your ass in the garage for another coat!’”
Sharleen is touring in September, without the usual back-up of Texas.
“I’m playing venues that’ll be different from where I’ve played before. I definitely want that old velvet curtain look- that supper club kind of thing,” she reveals. But before that, she has to come to terms with the album’s release- and consequently, the fact that she’s baring her soul to millions.
“Yeah,” she sighs. “I’m at that point where I’m slightly bottling it, thinking ‘why do I always do this?’”
Perhaps because without writing the songs, or composing the music, or singing her heart out like the fantasy lovechild of Dusty Springfield and Elvis, this remarkable star just wouldn’t know what to do with herself.

Vikki Harris goes in search of the perfect cleavage, and tests a new ‘miracle product’…

As a woman, breasts are hard to ignore. You spend your later primary school years yearning for your first bra, your teens longing for them to grow (and for the boys to notice), and the rest of your adult life wishing they were bigger, smaller, perkier, fuller, or less lopsided.
I’m one of the fortunate ones size-wise, but even with that on my side, as I moved into my thirties, I realised there was suddenly  a need for me to start looking after my assets a little more. After all,  I didn’t want them to plunge South prematurely.
So, my research began… how could I create (and maintain) the perfect cleavage? I pretty much disregarded the “I must, I must improve my bust” mantra in my early teens – although in hindsight, maybe that’s why they’ve ended up a tad on the saggy side.  Exercise will certainly tighten the muscles behind the breast and make them a little perter- then again, excessive exercise could also lead to a reduction in their size, or Hulk Hogan tits – so I gave it a miss. Although my yoga instructor did teach me something very valuable- and that lesson is posture, ladies. I know it’s a cliché, but standing up straight with your shoulders back does a lot for the confidence- and its good for your back, too.
I’ve always been skeptical about lotions that promise miracle cures, reasoning that they’re generally over-priced to look more impressive, and in reality, contain little more than E45. But I decided to give a much-lauded new gel, Boob Job, by Rodial, a go. The £125 gel promises to increase the cup size of breasts, and requires daily application. A study (by Rodial themselves) suggests that  Boob Job can provide up to an 8.4% increase in breast volume in 56 days. Ever the skeptic, I began religiously applying the gel; which was a little weird in itself – the girls have never had so much attention from me.
Turns out I was wrong to be cynical.  Astonishingly, the gel has pumped my chest up significantly enough for people to comment – (nicely!) so  this product does exactly what it says on the pack.  It sounds highly unlikely, but supposedly, it works by harnessing fat in the area where the gel has been applied, leading to a gradual increase in size. I’m genuinely amazed by the results (and the attention).
As a firm believer in making sure the wrapper is as good as its contents, I felt the need for a new bra to show the modified assets in their best light. As Gok Wan would tell you, ladies, you should hang your heads in shame if you ever leave the house in  a saggy, greying undergarment.  A big part of confidence comes from within-  and the right underwear goes a long way to achieving this. As I sashayed out in my newly-purchased Agent Provocateur undergarments, I was also wearing a cheeky grin. Hello Boys…

Rodial Boob Job £125, available at Harvey Nichols.